Poppingred’s Weblog

Hmm,

I really lost. Esp when I wanted to apply for internship and they want me to reply “Why I choose their company?”

I cant possibly admit that I do not choose ONLY their company right and the fact that they being large corporations are most likely to give me the most experience “to gain” while interning with them right?

Somehow as I look through the types of jobs that ‘m able to do. I have that “ooh, not bad”, but not “WAH, I WANT TO DO” feeling…..

Its kinda weird, it feels like I have been trying to think of what I want to do in JC, but after ard 3 yrs of planning. I dont think I have come to a conclusion….

anw, a video to share, its a long mv, but the song not bad…(:

This is really random post.
But I just really want to blog about it.
That is with regards to my user name “poppingred”.

The idea of this user name came from my “fetish” of red lipstick. As in the classic hue. Hahs, ohwells, just that in singapore, its not me to wear red lipstick when i m out on the streets. I really love the classic hue.

Gosh.

I’m so random.

K, wanting to blog another depressing entry when I log in, but change my mind and blog this random stuff instead cuz there is no point to make myself depressed at this time in the night.

So, just one line.

Some friends are disappointing.

ok and another.

But u still have to suck it in.

看了看我之前的部落格“HOLS”post, 突然觉得我很幼稚。所以决定把有些内容删除。

不知为什么有时候我的性格会… …该怎么说呢？？冲动吗？我想当年纪慢慢大了，或者说当思想逐渐成熟，有时候还真想把说出去的话收回来。

也许我更要懂得察言观色，“顾左右而言他”吧。

有时我想的东西是有点遥远的。

也许我该想想我现在能做的是什么。

翻一翻五年前的东西，真的察觉我变了。

变了。有好有坏。

尽管有些事情若有机会想重来，但现实里，人还是得往前走。

我只能说当有人说“我早就因该……” 时，而他们是对时，硬着头皮坚持我没错的感觉是有点心酸的。

也因为当时的不屑，成了今时的懊悔，只能说“失望”二字并不足以形容我内心的失落。

我只能说我悔不当初。不知现在弥补还来得及吗… …?

” If its not yours, it will never be yours no matter how much you are obsessed with it. but if in case.. just in case, its for you, it will always be for you no matter how often you ignore it..”

love quote from facebook.
isn’t it sorta beautiful, yet sad at the same time??

Anw, school is really starting tomorrow, kinda look forward to it. and not looking forward to it. the former cuz i finally have something on my hands. the latter cuz it means more work is going to pile up, and projects and assignments and and and and its not going to end till MAY.

Come to think of it, my education path is going to end in 1 and a half more months. I better make the best. so, aja aja!!!!

School is going to start next week, and I only have 3 confirm mods in my bag. Kinda pathetic. Hope I can successfully bid for my 2 by today. NUS bidding system is really troublesome, because some mods u can only bid in later rounds…which is bad – I mean what if u cannot get it? BUT i seriously doubt I cant get 2 of mine by today. CUZ they are chinese mods, they are not THAT popular. erm. right? :S

Anw, went for a 4D3N cruise on superstar virgo.
This time round, my cousin pays for everything. (last time is my uncle) I wonder when is my turn to strike it rich. You know when ur mother’s side of family is someone rich, U dont want to look that shabby beside them too you know. It’s kind of a comparative thing.

This time round though, my cousin is a newbie in terms of the cruise thing, hence his standard of VIP treatment is definitely lower than my uncle’s. But ohwells, no complaints there, at least ITS FOC. So I shall be appreciative… (:

Anw, about being 20. My auntie began to talk about my single status. U know? asking am i dating and anything. AND then during a normal day on the cruise, she make a comment that I should get married at 24. Which fuel my anger. and I “quarrel” with her. Though I rein in my anger a bit. Afterall, she’s 60+ and I dont wanna give her a heart attack. It was a stupid argument come to it, but it is her way of commenting that angers me. No. I say I dont wanna get married at 24, cuz i am too young for marriage. Then she said, who says young? then she gives examples of cousins who marry ard that age. I rebutted that at 24, I couldnt possibly meet the “right guy” yet, I say marriage is about making the right choice, choosing correctly (AM I WRONG?!). She gets the wrong msg, and says that I do not need to marry a RICH guy( i did not even mention anything about rich or poor!), just a one that i like. Then I says, well in sg…u definitely need to have finnancial means to start a family. Everything is expensive in sg.

N it goes on about 5 mins.

With me and her getting irritated, I decide to stop the argument and conclude, I have been studying for 20 plus years unlike u and mummy who stops ur education in secondary. I do not want to plunge straight into marriage after my education. This is 20 yrs of edu I am talking about. Unless of course, marriage still allows me to work and everything. Otherwise, I take things as it come.

Can u imagine THAT. and she is not even my mom. WTH

the good thing about holidaying (if u are not overseas) is that u’re able to meet uo with friends (:

In fact I’ve already meet up with quite a few people. catching up and all that (=

Later meeting up with weiyi and sihui.

HAHAs, paiseh zhiyu, in case u’re reading this, the meet up with sihui and weiyi is so efficient cuz i arranged de! LOL

the meet up with u guys…lets just say i’ll ask sihui later to organise faster. HEHS

hmm, wonder what we will be eating later. thou I’ve just eaten my breakfast. Thats the bad part of sleeping in. urgh. hope it dont rains later. orchard is not as fun when it rains…

i don’t understand why elders  (distant relatives kind) expect u do stuff even when its obvious u dont really want to do it?

N i dont mean things like responsibility or etc.

I mean like DOING CHORES FOR them( at the expense of ur own time), lending them personal items(which u SERIOUSLY dun wanna to)…

so what if u are older? I mean I’m 20! I have my own life. I have my own privacy. How can I lend u things that contains my personal stuff?! N they juz dun geddit.

F**k. THE MOST IRRITATING THING IS, I have to. Because I dont have the bloody courage to tell them, I DONT WANT TO. Cuz I dont have excuses this time round. Cuz I dont want to put my mum in a difficult position. Cuz I know that some point in time, I may need their help.

N THE MOST PISSING PART IS …yea, they NEED IT. SO BADLY they cant wait tomorrow. NO. Now at 11.05 pm, they want it, and THAT thing HAS to be there. My poor bro (have to do it for me cuz I dont drive) ,and he has work early next morning , he as to do it cuz my mum is asleep. NNNN they have the guts to say it over the phone in a irritable tone that it is my fault that I didnt bring it earlier. Y dont they just f*cking scram.

I’m super duper pissed. A**holeS

Hello rusty blog…

more updates. In fact I think there is too much to be typed out. N I’m not sure whether my patience will last me to type out every single thing that has change me during these mths. But not wasting anymore time, let’s get things started…

First, my this semester is NOT only filled by my trainings, but endless projects and assignments, tests and the usual academic stuff. However, workload is considerably heavier compared to my previous semester. As my econs modules getting more specific into certain area of studies, like environmental economics, my interest towards my major is beginning to increase too. However, I dont think I can say I’m super confident about my finals. Heavier workload, heavier trainings, I really feel like dying trying to juggle both. Trainings have increased, not only frequency (everyday), but also the intensity.

Leading me to my next major decision, I decided to leave the team, and focus on my studies 100%. In fact, my official “departure” has just taken effect starting from yesterday. It was a sad departure, afterall, I really wished to be able to continue rowing, especially for June race, for PM cup. In addition, they do not really have enough rowers, or backpacks (I’m one). I also feel a bit “wasted” for me because I’ve just make it into the IVP crew during regatta. The opportunity and trust given….it seem a bit ungrateful of me to just quit. However, I’ve decided that 100% on my studies is what I come to NUS for, there is no point in winning medals at the expense of my grades. Hence, I harden my resolve. I’m really sorry for things to turn out like that, but it has been a really really really tiring semester for me. I wouldn’t wish to go through it again. Studies comes first afterall.

Another most happening thing is, I’ve run my first marathon! OK, fine, I run only 32.5 km of it. The overall timing is 6 hrs and a few minutes. Quite bad. But I stll need to complment myself! (: Hahs, since before this marathon, I’ve been mugging before exams, and totally no running for me (for 3 wks) since I do not have sufficient time for revision….Despite not running for 3 weeks, I manage to clock the first 21km within 2h 30 min, and clock 32km in 4 hours. However, lets just call a series of unfortunate events, my leg begins to cramp really bad, and i have to limp my way back for the last 10km. N WHAT AN AGONISING 10km! Hot sun, cramp legs, and the thought that I could not complete my first marathon in 5 h 30 mins (my goal). Ultimate siansations. N after the race, my legs hurts so bad that I dont even bother looking around the booths of the race site and get those freebies, I just grab the finisher tee, medal, 100 plus and off I go to collect my bag. THAT is how shag I am. When I got home, I realise one of my toenail drop off. :/ Lesson learnt: Better train for a marathon if u decided to go for one. But actually in the first place, I didnt expect my mugging to be so intensive that I could not even squeeze out a run. But ohwells, at least I completed it! So, one life goal (that is complete a marathon b4 I turn 21) down ! HAHS.

As for these days, due to my toe nail dropping off, walking has been a problem, needless to say, running/jogging is out of the question. Been munching tibits while watching shows/facebooking/surfing net for temp jobs (but super hard!). Feeling super unhealthy, despite having just ran a marathon. Ohwells hope I can recover soon. It has been restricting my movement and activities. Which kinda aid in my emo-ing about leaving the team. Haii, hope by the time next semester starts, I’ll be alright.

Anw, I think elvin ng is really cute. LOL, i KNOW THIS PART IS RANDOM. But I just watched the 9pm show and I think he acted the role of Tarzan quite well. Silly and cute. hahs, hope he can churn out more shows in the future. My mum thinks Dai Yangtian is better, but I prefer Elvin Ng. Hahs, DYT is good, but I just think he is restricted to “period” dramas, like little nyonya and now the Tgt show. Elvin is more versatile…=D

Hope more GOOD dramas can come out, I’m kinda bored staying at home with the constant reminder from my mum to help her clean the house :/

shall end here. nights!

):

I dont even feel excitement for tmr’s race.
has the novelty worn off? or am i just PMSing?

read the title.
N its worse when u have sucky grp memberS!
roll eyes. the worst thing? they added me on facebook. N I CANT EVEN COMPLAIN ONLINE TO MY OTHER FRIENDS.
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I’m so tired. Physically and mentally. Remind me again. Why am I doing this to myself?

Its not june race, and my trainings are crazy. Cn i survive them?
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There’s bound to be something undone. Something that is overdue. Something that requires my help. Who gives me help when I need them?
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Why can’t somebody just acknowlege its their responsibility? I only have two hands.
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I really hope I can have it all in the end. I don’t want to give up on any opportunities.
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I can’t breathe.
3 ongoing projects.
tutorials waiting to be understood.
More trainings.
The more I want to venture out but cant.
Why?